Jeff’s blog

On Friday, we went to our 5th annual Father’s Day weekend camping trip. I took a half day as to get over to my moms and start packing up the vehicles. After some delays on getting everything packed up we were off. As we are heading down there, I’m watching the outside temperature gauge in the van go from 78 degrees all the way to 91 degrees when we get there. First thing I notice as we enter the campgrounds, is there is barely any cell service. Already knew this might be a problem as it was last year, but I was hoping a new tower went up since then, no such luck. We step outside and it was so muggy. We all start unpacking our vehicles and putting up tents. In the past, Tina and I have been the laughing stock because it always took us so long time to put up our tent. This year, Nae and I put it up in about 20 minutes. So I guess we all know who the problem was all these years – lol. After all the tents are up and we are all sweating our asses off. A storm rolls through to the north of us, really cools down the campgrounds, just as it starts to get nice, here come the rest of the crew. We ate supper of burgers, dogs and Brad had brought marinated shrimp all on the grill. Some mac and cheese as well for the kids. Before it gets to dark, we break out the cornhole game that Brad brought. Teams were Tony and I verse Brad and Robert. Brad and I threw against each other and Tony and Robert threw. Brad and I pointed like crazy but we were always cancelling each other out. We quit with 1 game a piece needing a rubber match. We quit when it started to get dark. It started to rain not long after and we tried to play some games under the awning that we keep everything but the rain started coming down at angles with the wind and we decided to pack it up and head for bed. After we get in bed it’s start pouring rain and very windy. I texted Cheri as long as I could in the tent before we both decided to head for bed. Everytime I hit send on a message, I would have to hold my phone up in the air and hope the message went through. I needed that Cheri time too because we hadn’t been able to communicate much during the evening. I’d be doing something and my phone would go nuts during the evening. I finally be somewhere to get service and I’d get 10 or 12 messages at once that were all waiting.

Saturday morning, we get up, have some breakfast and swap stories about our flooding tents as we all had some. Started playing cornhole again, only this time Robert & Kristen had taken the kids fishing so we replace Robert with Randy. Picked up where we left off the night before at 1-1. We took it to a game 7 before Tony and I pulled it out. After that we all went down to the beach. Most of the adults stayed up at the picnic table while some laid out in the sun while the kids all tore off into the water. After awhile, we headed back to the campsite for lunch and relaxation. Kids played and rode around on their bikes while the adults took showers, kicked back, took some naps. ect. Eventually, we ate supper of marinated chicken & more shrimp with potatoes. After stuffing ourselves, we went back to your cornhole game and it just got embarressing. Tony and I realed off win after win for about 8-10 straight victories. Brad didn’t want to quit until he won a game so we had to put lanterns under the boards so we could see the holes in the dark. Brad finally gave in and we went and had some smores and sat around the fire. This was a great time around the fire because Samantha was falling asleep on me. After I sent her to bed, Trevor climbed in my lap and did the same. To this day, I love nothing more than my child to fall asleep on me. I’ll miss that when they grow up. Everyone headed off to bed and I went to the tent for my “Cheri time” As great as this weekend was, it really sucked that Cheri and I couldn’t talk. We rely on modern technology to keep us together and apparently camping isn’t modern enough yet.

Sunday morning, I got woke up to the kids yelling at me because they wanted to give me my father’s day cards. So I got up, and all the father’s opened their cards. The kids cards were great, they made them, I assume last week some time. They both had the Michigan logo on them along with father’s day greetings. Couldn’t have asked for better cards. After breakfast, we started to tear down the tents and get ready to leave. We took the kids down to the beach one last time, this time I got in the water with them. Had a really great time there as well because both kids hovered around me the whole time, it was good time with Trevor because we were out pretty deep and he thought he had to hang on to me, we played together awhile and Samantha would pop over and play as well. Like I said, a really good time. After that we changed clothes and headed home.

Best part of the trip home was I was able to talk to Cheri without holding my arm up in the air. As great as a time as I had camping, it was hard not being able to communicate with her. We tell each other what we’re doing most of the time and I think that’s because we’re so far away we both want to know what each other are doing. I was expecting more questions from the family about what was going on, i’m sure they know the stuff about Tina but was expecting question about Cheri. I think they think it’s just a rebound kind of thing and I’ll eventually tire of it. But I don’t see that happening, I see spending a long time with Cheri. We seem to be perfect for each other, like we’ve been waiting for each other our whole lives. Even though we are 600 miles apart, we feel like we’re together most of the time, thanks to technology. The first time we saw each other again, it was like we known each other our whole lives, it was comfortable, no nervousness or anything. We text good mornings and IM goodnights. We text all day long and when we’re both at our homes we IM until bedtime. We don’t put our lives on hold either, we log off to take care of the kids or other commitments. Which tells me i’m not obsessing, i’m in love. Maybe after Cheri and I have been together for a few years, people will start to see the committment we have for each other and take the relationship as serious as we do.

Anyways, I digress. The camping trip probably doesn’t sound like much to most of you. But I had a really good time and have some good memories of time with the kids and the rest of the family. Some time with my older nieces as well, they came to the family late and I get the feeling they aren’t always comfortable around me. I have fun joking around with them, not sure they always do with me. Oh well, good time was had, that’s all that matters. Now I’m back home to real life, not sure that’s really a good thing but it is what it is.

For those who don’t know, my wife and I of 15 years have split up. It was a mutual decision. Some of you have a hard time figuring out what this means. It means that we both decided a split was in the best interest of both of us. There was no fight, no harsh words, no yelling, beating down or anything else like that. We sat down, discussed, and came to the decision. I think this had been coming for a few years now. We have split up before for the exact same reasons. She has her problems with me, I have my problems with her, it’s obvious that neither is going to change. We’ve tried to work on our issues before, it lasts a few weeks and then we go back to being ourselves. We are both ok with this decision, we both still want what is best for each other. We just don’t have it for each other. It’s cliche, but it explains it the best, we love each other but we’re not in love with each other. The kids will be fine, we’re not disputing over anything. Right now, Tina has them mornings that she doesn’t have school, otherwise babysitters. I still have them every evening. We’ll switch on weekends but those aren’t set in stone. If she needs them and I have no plans during my weekend then she can have them, I think she will be the same way. It doesn’t really matter what most people think about this situation, it is what it is.

The next situation that I would like to discuss, is Cheri. Cheri would be the girl that I am currently in a relationship with. OH MY GOD, IT’S ONLY BEEN 2 DAYS!!! That about sum up your reaction? I started talking to Cheri a few months ago when I was going through some other stuff not involving Tina but other family issues. We hit it off from the start, I wasn’t even sure why I was telling her what I was but she said all the right things and helped me get through that time. We kept talking, I bitched about my home life (as well as work) and she kept urging me to keep trying with Tina. But Tina and I have seperated in the past over the same reasons and nothing changes. Eventually I saw how unhappy I was and decided I wanted to seperate. Meanwhile, Cheri and I were getting closer and closer. She lives out of state so that’s all it was, was talking. She came into town on Memorial Day weekend and we got together, and it was like we’ve been best friends all our lives. The time we spent together i didn’t want to end. I stayed over a few nights but nothing happened. She respected my wishes of nothing happening until Tina and I could talk. Of course, it doesn’t look that way because I stayed over but that’s what happened. So to recap, Tina and I were already pretty much done before Cheri came along we just didn’t realize it yet. Cheri makes me happy and makes me feel like I am someone again, it’s been awhile since I’ve had that. So when Tina and I talked on Saturday night and came to our agreement, I told her about Cheri and that I was going to pursue a relationship with her. She said it was fine and that’s where I’m at. It wasn’t some torrid love affair going on this whole time under Tina’s nose. If you can’t accept what I’m telling you, that’s fine, I don’t really care. But it is what it is.